First past the post...not necessarily a winner.

All Hail Emperor Chuck Cadman...just practicing. So the election is long over and all the electoral nonsense done with. And what have we learned...our political system is in dire need of reform. Also, I can't quite understand why everyone is happy with the notion of a minority government...personally, I think it's gonna be trouble. But, that's a story for a different time.

I think that my disgust for our political system has lead me to one conclusion. We should dissolve Canada. That's right. No more Canada. I'm not talking about getting rid of the Charter of rights and freedoms, I'm talking toss the Statue of Westminster. Renounce Canadian independence and return to the British Empire. That's right...let's bring back British North America. Good ol'Upper and Lower Canada. Think about it, it's win win! We get the automatic membership in the EU (I think we'd keep our Commonwealth status too), Quebec get's full independence (and not sovereignty association, suckers), we get the British pound, and no more frickin' politicians to deal with...at least not Canadian ones. :)

Ok? So, maybe that's a radical suggestion for cleaning up our political system...you got a better idea? Hey...we could always join the Soviet Union. :)

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Election day is less than 24 hours away. It's a little disconcerting, that I am at this point, still undecided. Oh well...and with party leaders trying to gather last minute support for their respective parties, yesterday I received a phone call from a campaigner for my local Liberal Party candidate.

I'm sure that you all know by now, that I'm Canadian-Chinese and not the other way 'round. Some of you will definitely question the actual difference between the two. I'll tell you now, there's a big difference. So, I was a little taken aback yesterday, when after answering the phone with a hearty "Hello!", the campaigner came at me with her prepared campaign diatribe, in full on Chinese. What's more, she did her whole speech before I could get a word in edgewise and tell her, firstly, I don't speak Chinese, and secondly, if I did, I don't speak Mandarin. Cause you see, generations ago, my forefathers came over from Guangdong(Canton) Province in the southern China. The region is Cantonese speaking.

Now, for many of you that may not mean a lot, Chinese is Chinese...and fair enough. Let me put this in terms that maybe more relatable to you. The divide between the north and the south in China is similar to the divide between East and West in Canada. Out here in BC, there are definitely feelings of alienation from the apparent centre of Canada. That's right, you guessed it...TorOntario. And while we all speak English/French (being Canadians), we don't all speak the same language, if you know what I mean. That is, the concerns of British Columbians, are different from those of Eastern Canadians. Yet, the majority of the time, our voices fall on deaf ears.

Much is the same in China, Italy, France, etc., divisions within a country, where the industrial north, is pitted against a rural south. Add to that a language barriers within the same language and you might begin to understand the polarization that plagues many countries like China and how that polarization creates and shapes a person's identity. So, the presumption that I speak Mandarin, and by extension, don't speak Cantonese, robs me of my Chinese identity, on top of already taking away my Canadian identity.

So, what I want to know is, why having a Chinese last name, somehow presumes that I am not a full-blooded Canadian? Why, because my ancestry is Chinese, I am not entitled to be spoken to in either of our official languages. Cause I'll tell you right now, if she had started talking to me in French instead of English (or in this case Chinese), sure, I'd be confused...but at least that would acknowledge that to some degree I'm Canadian. Perhaps, we should take the election one step further. Maybe there should be separate polling stations for those of us, who seem less Canadian than the apparent majority. That way, us second-class Canadians won't get in the way of all you real Canadians.

Oh! Why don't we have separate water fountains and bathrooms. Maybe, it would make you feel better if I sat at the back of the bus too!? I thought that Canada was founded on the idea of a mosaic. Many cultures coming together, whilst keeping their distinctiveness, but adding to the overall Canadian culture as a whole. We are suppose to embrace other cultures, understand them, and in so doing, make them apart of our own identity as Canadians. And while, I haven't gone as far as saying that our Liberal candidate is a racist, his campaign strategy, smacks of racial stereotyping. And by doing that, he's tried to, if not actually, taken away my identity. We'll I'm taking it back. Come election day, I have decided this much. I will not be voting for the Liberal candidate. A man who was hand picked by Paul Martin to run in my riding, I might add.

And even with all of the injustices and inequities inherent in the system, I would still urge all of you to go out Monday and vote. The revolution starts with you...although, I have to say that sometimes I feel just like Dennis from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Later.

Lock n' Load

It's all to clear now that I have taken whitey far too lightly since the closure of Under New Management. Case in point. Today, I was viciously assaulted without just cause or provocation. Just another case of whitey trying to keep us "coloured folk" down. Well, I never thought of my self as more than a foot soldier in this war against whitey, but this latest incident has opened my eyes. I will gladly take up the crusade against whitey. And lead the crusade. We will no longer be on the defensive. We will take the fight to whitey. The gaunltet has been thrown down. Your challenge is accepted. Your callousness and willingness to disregard the rules of engagement is absolute. I will show you no quarter, sir. I just pray that the sweet release of death finds you before I do.

No Longer Progressive

So, I received a phone call from my local Conservative candidate a few days back. Needless to say, that my phone conversation with them prompted them to send me party literature to guarantee my support. Now, since I've been able to vote in Federal elections, I've always voted PC. But, with the merger of the Alliance and the PC, my party has changed. This what I tried to explain to the nice campaign lady on the phone the other day.

In any event, I finally went to the Conservative website, to check out where they stand on the issues, and what issues they feel are important to Canadians. I also took the time to read their platform. It's nice to know that the new Conservative party is founded upon Canadian values and morals...and I can say this with the utmost conviction, because all they seemed to do with their party platform, was to paraphrase most of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms!?

I think what the Conservative Party fails to recognize, is that they don't actually have to be in power to guarantee Canadians those rights and freedoms. Cause they're in the Charter!!! I already have them! WTF?! That's just lazy...needless to say, currently I'm unimpressed and this "silliness", makes me less inclined to vote for the party. In fact, your party doesn't actually offer me anything that I don't actually already have, minus the rhetoric and apparent hatemongering, so why should I vote for you at all?! Maybe I've over simplified things. Who knows? I mean they did drop the word "progressive" from their party name. What do you expect right?

I guess, what I do know is that I am not going to "...make a tax deductible contribution..." of $485 to the Conservative party. I also, found this extremely odd, that the first denomination for making a "tax deductible contribution", was the largest amount ($485) not the smallest amount (Other$). WTF!? Horse before the cart, ladies and gentlemen. How can you expect that anyone's first inclination would be to contribute the maximum amount allowable and not the smallest? Obviously, no longer progressive. Anyways, I think for now, I'll stay in that ominous category of "undecided". Maybe, I'll vote for the Marxist-Leninist guy. Maybe. I'm out. Later.

You say you want a revolution...

Well, for those of you who live here in “The True North Strong and Free”, there is an election coming up in about two weeks time. It’s no secret that I have reservations about people who don’t vote. Let me explain why. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Canadian. Always have been. Always will be. That being said, my ethnic background is Chinese. Every get asked the “What nationality are you?” question? I think everyone has been asked that some time in their life. My answer is this: Canadian-Chinese. (This answer tends to confuse most people. They say things like “Uhhh, don’t you mean Chinese-Canadian”. No, if I meant Chinese-Canadian, I would have said that. Jackass! That’s right. Canadian first! Chinese second.) That’s right junior detectives, I’m a hyphenated Canadian. But, like I said, I’m Canadian first. Still, I’m very proud of my Chinese heritage. It’s part of my identity. It’s not like I can hide it or anything. And it’s not like I want to or ever would. Plus, whitey needs an adversary. Might as well be me.

Moving along, I am proud of the trials and tribulations that my Chinese forefathers had to endure in order for me to call myself Canadian…I’m sorry…I was a history major folks...I studied a lot of Chinese-Canadian history…I won’t drone on too much about all of this, needless to say that, up until 1947, we Chinese in Canada were second-class citizens. Stripped of our right to vote. Denied the basic rights that all non-coloured Canadians were guaranteed. So, my “people” have only had the vote for some fifty plus years now. Maybe the novelty of voting hasn’t worn off yet.

In any event, I am proudly Canadian. And as part of that, I like to participate in the system of democracy that, however farcical or superficial it may seem, was previously denied to my Grandfather’s generation; a generation of Chinese who fought and died for a country who did not recognize them as citizens. That’s why I vote junior detectives. Not only do am I participating in an “open” and “just” system of governance, that is denied to many people the world over, but in doing so, I honour the memory of my Grandfather and his generation, who fought so that I could have a better life.

Also, there is something to be said about bitching about the government and all of the perceived injustices that they cause, when you don’t participate in the system. In other words, if you don’t vote, you really have no right to complain about the government when they do something that offends or upsets you. As the old saying goes, “shit or get off the pot”. You have the power to make a difference. One vote does make a difference. So, junior detectives, I urge you to go out and vote. And if you aren’t registered, do so. Post haste! You say you want a revolution…it starts June 28th. Go vote. Alright…’nuff said. I’m out. Later.

My Jaunty New Chapeau...

Hello Junior Detectives. It's been a few. I'm glad to see that you are all doing well.

Today was much like any other day. With one exception. The nice administrative assistant lady in Pharmacy gave me a new hat. A jaunty new chapeau, if you will. Now, you would think that most people would be happy for me...receiving a new hat and all. However, this is far from the truth. I tell you now...there is a distinctive kind of malice jealous that was displayed by non or un-hatted persons. Now, I'm sure that other chapeau'd people will back me up on this. I say to you now that this kinda hatred is tearing apart the social fabric of our society. It's really quite sad. I cannot understand why chapeau'd and non-chapeau'd people just can't resolve their differences in a peaceful and diplomatic way. There must be a forum in which their grievances can be dealt with both fairly and decisively. It's a truly sad state of affairs when we as humans cannot co-exist simply because of the colour/style of our hats. I have a dream...a dream that one day, all peoples of the world, those both with and without hats can live in harmony. Free of the persecution and scorn of generations past. That is my dream...*Single tear*

Alright...enough of that right. It's all good. So, for those of you who don't know, I will be in the process of moving my years of accumulated merchandise over to my apartment over the next week. It should be both fun and exciting. More or less. :) The party will commence soon then. I'll brief you with more details in the days to come. Alright then...I'll talk to you later Junior Detectives. Stay frosty. I'm out. Later.